Etiquette For Idiots
If your name is Don Imus, then hi Dad! Sorry about the stuff I wrote about you. I know you asked me not to write about you but to instead write about me. I’d like to point out that this book is about me, you just happen to be my father and since you stuck around...some of MY stories include you. Shitty luck, right? Anyway, get over it and toughen up. That’s what you always tell me to do. Besides, most of this book is about idiots and morons and how I think they should behave. So don’t worry, it’s not like I accused you of having sex with the dog or beating the cat with a wire hanger...but if I’m left out of your will, I may write a second book.
xo love, your wonderful daughter, Elizabeth
If you’re anyone else and you picked up this book because of its catchy title, then it’s because you have terrible manners and you are acting like an idiot, or you know someone who is and you need to buy this book for them. Whatever the deal is, enjoy. xo ez